Sunday, February 12, 2012

I Don't Care Why You're Leaving, You'll Miss Me When You're Gone.

     Well. A few of you saw, some of you didn't, but I went through some hell with "The Man". I don't care to recall it all, but I'm sure glad those 5 days are over! I got things from everyone's point of view. Like not to ever speak to him again, or how I deserve better, and so on. In my thoughts, you shouldn't ever say that about someone. The people that said it, love me, and care, but they are only hearing what I feel in the moment. They probably don't know all the perfect things about him. A lot just supported me, helped me rationalize, and let me make my own decisions. My parents and I are beyond closer because of it. I feel like it was a complete God thing, for multiple reasons. I learned things, I found him in it, and I found my parents through it. Most know it's taken me a very long time to be able to love and appreciate them. This was like the concrete drying. Would I do it the same way if I did it again? No. In events following, I've learned things I wish I knew when it occurred.
     I've had plenty of bad mood days, sad days, frustrated days, and then a few happy. But lately the happy have been more and more occurring. I've had random strangers reach out and chase conversation to help me out. You never know what will happen when things go places you hadn't ever planned.
     School.... I'm mostly managing. I have a rough history class that makes me read 30-40pgs a week. We all know Jenn is. not. a reader. I had a psych test, C, a Art test, which I didn't get the grade, but I feel pretty confident on. Personal Conditioning is nice and easy, simply 30 minutes of cardio twice a week. Great stuff. Spanish, too much homework. I didn't finish it all last chapter, so I should work on that probably! I made ....one friend in History. Nice guy. We work on homework together. Helps us both as neither enjoys reading!
     Work? Oh that's another story. I love it if I arrive in a good mood. And usually if I'm in a bad mood it lifts it. Some days though, it just takes everything I have. Hosting is my least favorite. I don't like fake smiling, and I hate staying in my little square at the front door. Bussing and food running is the best. I'm always moving, there's always something to do, and no work to do before I leave. Serving, it's ok. I make cash right then and there, but I have to roll silverware and clean. By the time I get to that point, I'm so tired I can't count sugars right! Expo-ing is fine. But it's just straight hourly, so I make less. Not to mention the cooks don't like being shouted at by a small person. I get hours after hours. So my feet need a break, which they rarely get.