Handling Stress and Controlling Tunnel Vision.

     Stress happens to everyone, something different for us all, usually a common being that we feel like we can't handle all on our plate. For some it might be something quite different like stressed because someone doesn't like you or because you're broke, which sometimes goes right back to not being able to handle all the bills coming etc. We all have a couple ways to handle it, not everyone is individual in their stress copings. We encounter this our entire lives, so finding a manageable and constructive way of dealing with it early is better than accepting how you handle it negatively and saying "I'm stressed, it's ok".
     Right now, I feel in over my head. Moving isn't easy. It's not easy when you have family, and it's even harder to do by yourself. Perhaps it's not all just moving though, maybe moving really isn't that hard, it's more overwhelming. I can't get ahold of my school, so I can't send them transcripts, my unit is out of town, so I can't get things signed, and I can't do paper work for ROTC until all of that happens. Plus I need 6 more sit ups than I have to get in, and even in the 4 months I was in training, they never improved. I'm sit-uptually challenged. I'm in the midst of packing, and praying I have a truck fall into my hands to help me drive my stuff north as well. I'm demotivated to go to the gym too.
     So... things aren't the most ideal. What's the solution, and how do I handle the emotion of stress? The  handling of the emotion started with even more demotivation, then turned to almost tears, and I said to myself, "tears don't solve anything", didn't even go there, and decided to figure out how to handle it instead of letting it stress me. I cannot control that they aren't answering, I can only work on my sit ups to improve them, not going to the gym will only make my life less great, and I cannot control my unit coming back.
     Therefore, my cure, is to get some ice cream, and go do some dancing. I have no reason to stress over things I cannot control! I'm a better contribution to this world if I'm clear headed and pushing full force ahead. I can focus on what IS going right. I'm seeing boxes come out of the wood work to pack with, I'm viewing two rooms this weekend, one of which I'll be moving into in August, I put my one-month notice in today, I'm eating a little more balanced than I was, I'm drinking a lot more water, a friend comes into town this weekend, and, lastly, I know from the past, that we will all go through times of demotivation and burning out in the gym. It happens. You push through those little rocky places, try to change it up to things you enjoy a little more, and at some point, the fun WILL return.
     I told a battle of mine about my moments of stress and worry, and her line to me was "battle ..I know you can freaking do it. You've got the heart to do anything." Sometimes, my biggest pitfall, isn't that I'm incapable of something, it's that I doubt myself. I'm capable of being a straight A student, with a 300 PT test, and succeeding at anything. Admitting you don't have confidence, or don't give 100% starts somewhere, however the only way to fix that, is to know you don't, and then try a little harder in everything you do. Even when you don't have the motivation, find a way. Because your will to get there will kick in, and something will cross your path that causes you to push just hard enough, that you make it.
     Over the next two months, I may fail at somethings, and I may succeed. No matter which way my chips fall, there's always another way, and other doors always open. The future isn't bad forever. We just have moments of tunnel vision, and insecurities that cause us to doubt ourselves and the process.

My Ever Changing Life. I Even Get Lost In Here.

     Well. It's been 2 weeks I've been home now, I've readjusted to being your average boring American. I miss being a green suiter, but I have to accept the decision I made not to be active duty. I still talk to a lot of my battles from "camp", and love to see how it's going for them. I'm still enrolling in ROTC in less than two months, and going on with my plans and life as I must.
     I started training again with a new coach, happily getting back to where I was! I'm much more mentally balanced to be dieting than I've ever been. I still weigh everything I eat, and I don't mind it for a minute. Kind of like when people first start exercising, then it becomes habit and they no longer as bothered by it, same here. I've been to Seattle since coming home, the coast, and today will be my first day back at work. I'm doing extremely well at keeping myself busy so I stay constructive in my attitude and actions. When boredom hits, thoughts become destructive, and life is harder. I've been hiking, eating, watching movies, working out, traveling, sky diving, and anything else that comes to mind to keep my busy!

Containing my life.

     Now, in about ehh, 6 weeks, I'll be moving to Tacoma, Wa. Yes..... the third year in a row I've moved. At this rate I'm gong to be quite happy to have a majority of my belongings in storage if I'm going to keep this up! I'm moving to go to school on base cheaper than I am now, I'll save money in rent, no income taxes, I'll be closer to family, and so on. So financially a good move, I just have extreme dread from having to pack everything up. Move one I didn't have a whole lot to move. After that, I started to accumulate all the things a person has in their house, now I have a fully furnished, everything you need kind of set up, which takes a lot of energy to pack and decipher what I may need and what I can put in storage.

Hiking @ Opal Falls!

Hanging @ the coast!

     My major is going to be Organizational Leadership, and I'll just keep on keeping on, letting things go where they may as I certainly have no idea where my life is ever going clearly! My 20th is coming up quite soon, and I'll be in Seattle celebrating, either a BBQ or a nice restaurant and staying there that weekend. I've grown very close to those here, and I love it here, fortunately WA has the same scenery, but not my friends I've acquired. I'm pretty sure I'll make more, but you never replace friends, you just acquire more. I have quite the collection of wonderful people in my life as it is, so I suppose it can only get better!
I'm also working on meal prepping at the beginning of the week.... fun to get to eat real recipes, but talk about planning! I'm making things I've never eaten in my life, yet so basic! I like cooking, and I'm sure my body appreciates more balanced food options :)