I just made the MOST amazing Sammich. Oh buddy. I felt like I was ....in Italy. I bought a panini press before I moved. I don't use it too much, but I really should more. It's epic! Mine's Breville, and you can change one of the plates to make it more of a flat pan kind of surface.
I don't exactly remember where I came about the idea, and I've made them before, but I got a hankering for sammiches, so you're about to see some really good ones. Trial and error though. I wasn't shy with my ingredients; I used ciabatta, and fresh tomatoes, and fresh basil, and fresh mozz... ok it was ALL fresh!
Recipe?!
3.5 oz Ciabatta cut in half
2 Large Tomato Slices
3Tbs Tomato Basil Marinara Sauce
1 oz Mozz
3 Basil Leaves
2tsp Butter
Butter your bread, put sauce, then tomato, then cheese, then basil.
Press er! I could've gone longer to melt the cheese more, but I needed to turn my heat down if I was to do so.
I feel as though I always learn new things on my vacations. Life lessons, fun facts, whatever.
On this one? Well.. Marionberries are exclusively grown in OR. Oregon is a lot like CO. I can in fact get tired of a lack of savory food. You can't buy weed, you must "donate" to get it. A simple gesture from someone can make you feel worth it. 24 hour fitness is very over priced. Trying to eat with multiple dietary restrictions is quite challenging, but fun. I can manifest my fear as doubt. I like Florence + The Machine more than I thought.
The people here are just as, if not more friendly than they are in Nashvegas. The man at starbucks about a mile walk from where I'm staying (which I walk to a lot), asked me today if I was home sick. Really? The people in Hermitage don't even remember where I am right now, and he knows I'm from Nashville? Thank you. How about the people on the bus?! They love to talk, and I feel like I've made so many friends, more than I've ever made in hermitage, and I only have been here 8 days.
I ran out of yogurt this morning, well, I think SOMEONE ate it, but, I'll never know. Therefore, I asked for a cup with a pump of SF hazelnut syrup, and got a single serve yogurt, put in my protein, and mixed it up. Yep, the things one does for protein! ....Then I ate a giant Chocolate Chunk Cookie :-) I've had about 4 this week. It's delightful. This vacation, as solitudal as it's been, has been amazing. The people, Travis, Josh/Jake, the Starbucks cashier, the man at starbucks I go to the gym here with (Who just offered me a ride to the airport), the man at starbucks who wants to hear my story, the man on the bus from Hawaii... They've created an experience. The sights; the beautiful river, the city lights, the mall, the Santas, the bridges, the store fronts, they've imprinted in my mind. The way the city is laid back (...pot capital of the nation...) is so nice. I live my life rushing from place to place, and it's been so perfect to not have to speed to get somewhere on time, or not worry when someone isn't on time to meet me, or have to wonder if I'll make it there on time by bus. I just do what I want, all day, and have no where I HAVE to be. Walking... I've spent the trip walking miles a day. Through the city, to the store, to the bus stop, to starbucks, everywhere, I just walk. On my way here this morning, I thought... this isn't much different than where I am. I could walk to places too. I might just try it :-)
This is one trip that won't ever leave my mind.
It's great. Some things aren't as I had expected them to be, but others are much better. Portland downtown is magical. I saw things I've never before; Snow in a mall, food trucks, a city Xmas tree.
I'm making friends everywhere. I had a guy give me a ride from the gym, and another man ask me to e-mail him the life story I've been writing for 8 years. Yes..... I've written 5 books, front and back pages for 8 years this coming February. He gave me some interesting ideas, and really wanted to read it. he said... not many people write their story. And write it for that long. I'm not done; when I'm having a rough day or I need someone to talk to I write to myself to let it out. Or when it's something I don't want someone else to know. Which makes sharing it with him harder, but I can alter things accordingly.
Yesterday and today are kind of rough days for me. There's been great and there's been sad. I'm eating what I want and I'm enjoying myself, and I don't feel like a whale as I did over thanksgiving. I've had pizza, mexican, ice cream, vietnamese, and what ever else I've wanted. And I'm happy. However, as we've all seen, I met a guy when I came out here. That's half the reason I came to begin with. And now it's bye for a long while. Let's just say... bad day to wear make up right? But I'll be okay. Because I have no other choice.
I found a gym and I'm training, eating, riding the bus, hitting the city, starbucks, shops, just spending time with myself. Which, at some moments is very dangerous, and at other, very great. I've got a huge list of things to do when I get home, and back to work. Forget Christmas, I haven't even thought about it. And it's barely a week away. Yikes. Honestly, I have no desire to go back to TN, which I knew was coming. But life can't always be how you want it to be. So go back I shall. Smiling or not.
I'm loving eating what sounds good, and waking up feeling just as great as when I left. I know if I did this as my life, I'd go broke, and feel like crap, but a week is a nice break from my obsessive nutrition habits :-)
Good News: I got all of my exams rescheduled for Friday! Start at 8:30, and go till I'm done. I don't feel like I'm under prepared for any of them, so I'm fit and happy.
I'm exhausted. As in could've fallen asleep driving today kind of exhausted. I don't have a moment off until I step on that plane, and I don't feel like my trip is going to be relaxing. Not that I would want it to be anyways!
DiO got cancelled tonight, so I'm catching it in the morning. I then have a chiropractic appt as my shoulder isn't too happy with me for some reason. In between that I need to go to my parents to pick up a world music DVD for a concert report due Wed. then I need to train, study for music, and work. Wednesday, classes all day, studying, training. Thursday, working twice, training, studying, packing, baking. Friday, all of my exams, packing, baking, training, working. Saturday I fly. I also have to pack anything I want to eat from 5 Am- 1pm. Still waiting to hear if my brother can pick me up or if he's working. My life is sort of in the air at this moment, but hey, it's ok! When I get on that plane, I'm going to be very very ready to take a seat and relax a moment!
I found out yesterday, Portland has great bus system, and a subway system, so I can go anywhere and everywhere at my leasure. Yes! It's going to be great fun! I just have to remember not to spend much except for food :-)
It's been a bit! I've gotten busy though, which I love because I'm not bored sitting around wondering what I can do. I'm on the run, sometimes too much. My first trip that was to Baltimore is over. I got sick the day after Thanksgiving and I'm still working on getting rid of it. I enjoyed it, generally, but Thanksgiving for me, is like placing an alcoholic in a bar. I love the family, and I met members that have joined in the last 3 years, or that just never come to gatherings. When I first walked in the door, everyone was beyond shocked at my transformation, which made it even more worth it. I did okay I suppose on my eating, well, I wouldn't say okay, but I did better than in the past. The following day I wanted to go straight home. I was completely miserable. I got to keep my regular gym schedule simply modifying the exercises to accommodate the equipment available, and my uncle took me to his gym once. I was extremely proud of my control on the 13.5 hour drive back. Usually all I do is eat. Not this time. This time I actually kept it less than my normal days, which is fair seeing as I was sitting in a car all day.
My second trip is a week from today! I'm quite excited. I've never been on a trip as an adult, just me, so it's going to be fun. I'm staying with my brother, and who knows what we'll get into. He said they go to the gym, which is good for me, because I will literally go insane if I go 8 days without eating my food and working out. It's SO uncomfortable for me. At the least the gym--the food I generally can do okay with when it's not national feasting holiday!
We've gotten completely new management at work, and it's quite an adjustment. They're much stricter, and they want us to do a LOT of extra work (like cleaning). We did some before, but not like this. It's not that bad, as they're having us start working as a team, but I'm having to lie about some of my work being done, which isn't me at all. Nothing intense, I said I cleaned the lamp shades when I hadn't, but a lie is a lie. When I've worked serving for 3 hours, rolled 50 silverware, done side work, etc, the last thing I desire to do is wipe the walls down in my section. However I believe the service will improve and busy nights will run smoother.
My exams...... are 4 days after I fly out of the state. Yes. No bueno. I only have 4 classes, one of which doesn't have an exam, one of which I did manage to get rescheduled, one of which I find out Monday if I can take early, and the other isn't looking too promising. Completely my mistake, but it happens.
I hate when I'm cold, get a hot drink, and start dripping sweat. No fun, just sayin'. Also, I don't own rain boots, and I go to college. Idiot. Lastly, I hate women's roller coaster emotions. It's so not fair to those around us. I can control mine to those I'm not very comfortable with, but there's the select few who take the brunt of my hormones. I hate it. I've gotten quite good at the "think before you speak" practice, and stop myself a lot, but sometimes I just have to get it out and let it rip. Not ever a good day for that person. Oooo also, I signed up for classes! I decided not to do psychology this semester, as I don't want to be overloaded. However, I did sign up for American History, Communications, Personal Conditioning, Spanish II, Beginning Weight Lifting, and Orientation to Art. Yes, 2 PE kind of classes. I wanted to do yoga a lot, as I need to stretch more terribly, but the class I needed was already full.
I say it ALL the time how I try to say things to people I want to hear. So, to the person I like, it's how much I like them. To the person who don't make sex sounds on the other side of my wall, it's the return of silence, to the girl in line at Starbucks with the cute earrings, it's expressing my opinion. You get the point. I just wrote a post on thanks to those who've influenced me, and then I went to church yesterday and heard a sermon about how that should be done. I felt like a saint, not going to lie! We know I'm not, but I had a little bit of satisfaction in me. Some thought I get often, usually towards those I'm close with, is making sure the things that are usually taken for granted, aren't. Like what? Like when they ask if I'm feeling better, or how my day was, or give me a hug, etc. The things we expect in the back of our mind. This might stem from me having people not ask, and me getting offended, and I now don't expect them any more. Not totally positive.
The fact that our line cooks are supposed to make our food as we ordered it, isn't something I expect. Every time I pull my food out of the window, I toss a thank you their way for making my food for me. What about a "bless you" to the man at the register next to you? Wouldn't you want someone to say it to you? I would! So I say it to them.
Our thankfulness starts where our expectations stop. ....Dwell on it.....
As stated, you don't say thank you for things you expect. You expect them. Pay attention to the things people do, don't take them for granted, and take them as a blessing.
I didn't try forever for fear of failure... like we do with a lot of things in life, right? Not too sure what I'm so scared of, but here's my new favorite thing :-)
Just so you know, the cookies are definitely gone. I have to make those more! I'm making muffins this week too, so expect those :-). I did deadlifts with crap form yesterday (working on that!) and I'm feeling sore in places I wasn't aware you could 0.o.
Have you ever wondered where you would be without the influences of certain people? Almost the what if game, but in a positive manner. For me, with out Nichole Miller, I have no clue what I would look like or be doing. She introduced me to the weight floor. Yep. That was only 8 short months ago! Where would I be without Jc Deen, who subconsciously showed me it's ok to not do what's considered right. Or where would I be without Lori Reel, who told me week after week that the weight would one day come off. How about Debbie Fields who taught me to be creative when my poor mother wasn't born with such a streak? Where would I be without Amber Toothman who gave me situations in which I learned people are who they are and judgment isn't what they need? Perhaps Melissa Minarik who showed me kindness to others in tough situations is always the way to go. How about "Dan" who showed me what not to look for in a significant other? Would I be healthy without Rachel Shear who pushed me out of my comfort zone? Where would I be if it weren't for TJ who helped me when my family couldn't, and didn't know to?
It's not easy to look back at your entire life and think about lessons learned from people, or those who taught them. Of course we all know about one or two people who coined a phrase for you that helps you through life, or a family member that's "always been there for you", but what about those random people throughout your life thus far, that were there, or that showed you how to live, just by living. Those are the ones I'm talking about. What if you told them they had an impact on your life? How would you feel if someone told that to you? I don't think I'd believe them.
I sent my delicious porn photo of Starbucks Wednesday to someone, who has to eat gluten free, and was jealous since the cookie definitely has gluten. I then realized.... I could fix this issue! I went on a quest to conquer GF chocolate chip cookies! I did, and they're great! I even made them HUGE like the ones at Starbucks!
The Best Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Wet Ingredients: 1/4 cupCoconut Oil 1/4 cup White Splenda 3/4 cup brown sugar Splenda 1/4c egg Sub 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract Dry Ingredients: 1 + 1/2 cups Bob's Red Mill GF Flour 1/2 tsp. kosher salt 1/4 tsp. xanthan gum 1 tsp. baking powder 1/2 tsp. baking soda Add In's: 6 oz. chocolate chips Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl: cream butter with sugars until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla. In a separate bowl mix together flours, salt, xanthan gum (opt.), baking powder, and baking soda. Slowly add flour mixture to butter and sugar mixture. Lastly, mix in chocolate chips. Place tablespoon sized dough portions 2 inches apart on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or a silpat mat. Bake 7-9 minutes or JUST UNTIL edges are light brown. (The cookies WILL NOT look completely cooked when you pull them out of the oven! That's what you want! That's part of the secret to these awesome cookies! DO NOT overbake them!) Allow cookies to cool undisturbed on parchment paper or silpat mat on the cookie sheet for 10-15 minutes. Then move cookies to wire baking rack to continue cooling. Store cookies in an airtight container on the counter.
I did my first pull up!!! YES! I've waited months for this! I can't really do more than one, but the first is supposed to be the hardest ;) My dad (T) will be SO proud! Today has been a workout PR kind of day. I pressed 438lbs, and hack squatted 224. I never have been able to get accurate numbers on those because of unknown sled/machine weights. Well, my school's gym has marked machines! YAY! My leg press goal has been 540 for a bit, and I never ever thought I'd see that. Looks like a bright future!
My next goal I've had is to bench my body weight. While I've been 14-18lbs from that for about 3 weeks now, I'm going tomorrow to see if I can become a smidgen closer! Patience is key in the business of muscle! Makes my day so much better when I have mini accomplishments in the things that matter to me!
2 week from today. That's RIGHT :D I will be in Baltimore exactly 2 weeks from this second! (pretty much to the second actually) I had a goal to have some kind of Ab definition, any at all really, by then, but with work, and blah blah, I think that will be a missed goal. But hey, you can't win them all, now can you.
I've had the great pleasure of working out with people this week. I push a lot more weight when I'm talking to someone, as I'm not thinking about how much weight I'm pushing ;-). There's more than one advantage to having someone with you. You get a spot, someone to talk to between sets, someone to comment on all the weird things you're witnessing, and then that good distraction.
While I'm blessed to be working, I'm very quickly learning to cherish the days I'm off ....Like today. But I'm sure I'll regret not using today to pack in all the homework I need to do. Oh well!
So while I really appreciate being employed, and I still do love it, it's rough. Rough Rough. My night ended in some shed tears in bed last night. Slept until 7:30 this morning, which is un heard of for me. My body is wiped. I'm ready for Thanksgiving more than anything. I start another round of UD2 today, and just as last week, I have zero desire to do so. I'm teetering on over doing it, and I'm reading my body carefully to keep from over training, or getting sick. Training on an already sore, and tired body, is rough mentally and physically. I'm ready to take a day and just do what I want. I do get Monday evening off from work, but I'll be in Springfield, as always. Thank God!
I'm practically living off of caffeine pills, just so I can keep a smile through shifts. However, no amount of golden heart and smiling will earn you good money, as I've very quickly learned. Some people you want to dump their drink on. Others, you want to just hug. I can however, thank God that I have loving co-workers, and bosses who have been there and understand. After about 3 mess ups last night, there was no yelling at Jenn, there was a "I'll see you in the morning", and a good night. I feel as though they realize we're going to feel like crap about mess ups and them mentioning it, or getting mad won't make anything better.
Only up side I'm seeing to my 2 weeks of dieting that are left, are the fact that I can take out stress and such at the gym. I'm like the shiny new toy at work that everyone wants to have. It's very weird to me, and I've never been in that position, but I also am having to be very careful, and modify my personality slightly as to not come across as wanting that sort of attention. Which can take a lot of energy to watch every word I say, or every motion I make.
I have a few goals, like @$250 a week, to total 1K a month. Would be grand! The company sets goals for us, and I'm blowing the roof of off alcohol sales. At the end of every shift, which isn't a set time, could be a hour, could be 5 hours, you get to roll about 50 silverware, and clean your section. I realize these are reasonable things, but when you're getting paid $2 a hour to do so, and it's taking you an hour to finish all of it, one is ready to scream when they walk out those doors. My feet are usually screaming, I feel like I need a shower, and ready to hit the bed. In addition to these things, I almost never nail my uniform. No collar on my shirt, you need a high cut shirt to cover the tattoo, wear a belt, someday!
Over. And. Out.
Got the job at Ruby Tuesdays, Mt. Juliet. I'm a server, and in training. Only one day left of training actually. It's much less formal than I had expected, and I enjoy knowing how restaurants work, I'd always wondered! There's a lot of down time, when pretty much no body is there, which isn't helpful, but as far as first jobs go, I think it will be a win. The toughest part is learning the menus.
This gets rid of a lot of my free time, I just have to make sure I don't fall behind on school work. I'm working on class planning for next semester, and I'm thinking I'll take a summer class. Easier, leaves me with less free time, and I won't be as slammed this coming semester. Of course, I have no way to know what I'll be doing during the summer, so it's all in the air. Too many decisions!
3.5 Weeks until Baltimore, and 6 until Oregon! Got my exams rescheduled, and I'm ready for time to fly! If only I could jump ahead about 3 weeks. I'd be in heaven! Working brunch this morning, gym, groceries, and church when I get off. Nice to have things I need to do! We had a food show on Thursday, which is where they prepare about 20 dishes and show us, then we can eat them. Well, I ate PLENTY. I have plenty of things to recommend to guests! Veggie options, and such, which the other staff thought was bland.
BLARG! I can't express to you how much depletion workouts kiss my blessed little booty. I sound like a man while leg pressing. What's going on here?! Per the title... I've finished two weeks, and have 3 left until I'm done and head out for Thanksgiving to show off what I've (Hopefully) accomplished! Eating little food doesn't get to me at all. It's just those 2 stinky high rep work outs. Humph.
In other vacation news! I read on my University 1010 syllabus that the last day of classes is December 8th. Therefore, I booked my flight for December 10. Well...... someone brought to my attention that all 3 of my exams happen to be .... December 14th. Yep. You read that right. While I'm in Oregon. Whoopsie! I've been working on connecting with teachers to make sure I take them before I leave. I feel bad about it, but I was misinformed by a formal document! On my countdowns... I leave for Baltimore in exactly a month! and I fly to OR 2 weeks after I get back. Ahhhh! Those are the only things keeping me going through school.
I got invited to a birthday party down town last night, and to the mall today. I'm feeling kind of popular seeing as I never get invited ;) I got some great pictures too! Funny news.... I was cleaning my ears out with a Q tip, and blocked my ear drum with wax. I just got them flushed... OUCH! Never again will I be using Q tips!
Have you ever had someone look at you and say "I'm giving you .... because you deserve it." As in, you're valuable, and you're good enough to have this gift. I think it's kind of assumed when we get something that the person giving it felt it was deserved. Someone might talk about you saying "they deserve better," but how often does someone look at you and say it? I've only ever had one person do it to me. A lot like how I believe we should tell people on a regular basis how we feel about them, I believe we should say the things out loud that are sometimes assumed. Both of these practices are often exhibited in a blooming couple, but lost later. Forget it in friendships. Sometimes family.. but usually just that you love them. Or you couldn't live without them. Not something that isn't ever said like "you're worth it and deserve it". When I go to say something as such, I first think "How would I feel if someone said it to me?" and usually I'm like ....whoa! Every once in a while I feel like I have to, or appear to be fishing for the acknowledgment. As in, I say it just to hear it. Which can be true, not usually, but can be. There are days when you just need to hear a genuine statement. The moments however, that mean the most, are when you're not doing anything, or saying anything, it just comes out of someone's mouth out of left field. If someones means a fair amount to me, I want to make sure not only that they know that, but that they realize it's no matter what, its always, and that they feel like they're worthy, and worth it. If you ask me where this comes from, I can't tell you. Could it be that I felt like I wasn't, or that I needed to hear such things more in the past? I'm not sure. All I can tell you, is that I'm making sure others can't confirm that exact statement.
Someone said something to me yesterday, which we hear all the time, and I know it, but I suppose in this particular context I hadn't thought about it. We only have one life, and I don't want to spend mine wondering "What if I had?" I've unknowingly already applied this to areas of my life, just didn't look at it through this glass. When I dropped culinary. If I hadn't, I would've looked back thinking "What if I HAD done what I wanted.. Would I be happier?" Or.. "What if I had stayed with weight loss... where would I be? Sure glad I can't think those things now. Both life changing, and I feel I made the right decision with both.
Do you live making sure that you can't look back on something big and say "What if I had?" I can't explain why this struck me so deeply, but it did. Why do we let things stop us, when we aren't going to get another chance. What could we possibly have to lose that we can't get back later? One Life. No "I can do it in 3 years" stuff. One chance. Use the opportunities wisely. Spontaneity is a word for a reason. Ok, so maybe I would be well balanced by a half that thinks through things thoroughly, but what are parents and friends for? To bounce ideas off of.. Hmm.
First off.... I don't know why you would think I would be referring to myself. My name has 2 N's! Second, I don't eat meat, so it would be hard. Third... I love to find ways to put flaxmeal in things!
½ cup flax meal 1 teaspoon baking soda ½ teaspoon sea salt 1 teaspoon cinnamon ½ teaspoon nutmeg
4 dates
1 Cup egg Sub 2 Tablespoons coconut oil
2/3 cup water
1/4 cup sesame seeds
1/4 cup finely chopped pecans 1/2 cup shredded coconut (unsweetened)
3 oz. dried apples (no sugar added)
In a large bowl combine almond flour, flax meal, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking soda and salt
In a blender, blend dates, dried apples, eggs, coconut oil and water on high speed until very smooth
Mix wet ingredients into dry, then stir in sesame seeds, shredded coconut, and pecans
Spoon batter into lined (or sprayed) muffin tins
Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes (for six large muffins) or 17-22 minutes (for nine medium muffins)
Cool and serve
Notes: (1) Almond flour is expensive. Do yourself a flavor, and throw almonds into a food processor! (2) The batter is more like a dough, but more wet than dough; don't panic. (3) These are VERY moist. Either consume quickly, or freeze; they will mold within about 4 days. (4) If you try these, and have no blessed idea what Paleo is, it's very low carb very high fat. So know what you're consuming.
Here's mine!!
And I'm always feeling generous and musical, so here!
I went to see this film, and it was good. I almost recommended my Fundamentals of Government teacher offer it as extra credit...... but I withdrew from that class yesterday. Yep, you read me. I was faced with so much reading, and things I'd never heard of in my life. While I know that's the entire point of schooling is to learn new things, I can only handle so much. I'm an adequate reader, when you put reasonable amounts of reading in front of me, or of course, it's something that interests me. Honestly, the information was actually quite interesting. It talked about the power in the governments of the world, and the kinds of governments, electoral systems, and so on. Stuff worth knowing about! I just don't absorb it nearly as fast as they're throwing it at me. This does make me feel stupid, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it. A friend of mine dislikes college because they take a semester to teach him what he can learn in a much shorter period of time. SIGH. On an up, perhaps now I can put some time into math, which I should be getting much better grades in.
Other happenings today? Finished up my first bulk. Was alright... Nothing too special, except the satisfaction of weekly strength increases. Things have been learned. Such as when you put excruciatingly large amounts of weight on a standing calf raise, it will cause you to bruise! Or... when you have a spotter, you're likely to get more reps because of the psychological aspect that you know you won't die. Lastly, I got caught under my first barbell. It was a shining moment!
What now? I have 6 days off, then I cut for 5 weeks before going to Baltimore for Thanksgiving. My family there hasn't seen me in 3 years, and well... I'm MUCH different than I was then! When I get back, I'll have 2 weeks of school left before I hop on a plane to OR. Can't describe my excitement for both of these things. As previously stated, I have an airplane obsession, so I'm psyched! Baltimore is a one way, but Oregon is obviously returning (sadly). My first post of the year was about my goals, one of which was to make it to CO..... so I booked a flight that had a layover there! I know, I'm silly, but it counts. I might get stranded there even since I had to book the worst airline in existence, but hey... I'll be there!
Lastly, just incase you wanted to know... I can't cook rice. Don't laugh at me. I can make any breakfast in your imagination, but rice isn't something I'm capable of concocting!
I love living right next to the airport. Interstate too, but the airport more so. I can hear the planes coming and going, and it's like non-stop vicarious living! I have an unprecedented love for flying, and airplanes. My dream career is a flight attendant and personal trainer while I'm home. It can be done, and it might be what I get to do. You never know! I just LOVE flying. My favorite thing after school, is to catch an airplane while it's landing or taking off, because I drive right next to the run way, and you can see the little people's heads in the planes! It's almost always Southwest for some reason. I've just about died (not literally) many times trying to turn around to watch them take off, or staring in my rear view to see if any are coming in from the East.
It reminds me of Toy Story, when Woody and the girl are on Bullseye trying to save their friends when the plane is about to take off and one nearly lands on them.
I'm flying to Baltimore for Thanksgiving this year! We go once every 3 years, and I'm glad I have school, because if I didn't, I would drive with my family, and not get to fly. Not to mention, that Wednesday, there will be a billion people because everyone's staying at work as long as possible. I also asked for a trip for my Xmas present for my parents. I want to visit a friend who's in OR for school. Nice LONG flight! Unfortunately, I only saw one stops... I love like 1,000, just because I love the airports ;)
If you can't tell, my heart is in the sky. I have no clue how it got there. My family and I used to fly up every few years to visit people here in TN, but the last time I flew was 3 years ago when we went to Baltimore. Before that I got to go to California. Even if I have to spend my own money, I'll go somewhere else before the end of the year. It gives me a reason to get through the next 7 weeks of school.
I have a funny story for you. Of course, it happened at the gym. Where else, right? In all fairness, I had a funny moment at school, but I don't feel like telling them both, so I'm picking the better of the two.
Im at the barbell military press bench, have 70lb on the bar, which is a lot for me, and the angle on the thing is crappy. So all of the variables combined, I struggle to unrack the bar. Im all prepped, mirror is clear, I go to pick it up, and the right side is lifting slightly, but the left not at all. Being my last lift of the day, I thought I was just weak. I'm about to try again, and this little old guy, maybe 80, peers around, and starts talking, so I take out my headphones, and he's going "I'm so sorry!" I'm like...???? He then told me he was using the bar to stabilize himself while walking. No wonder I couldn't get it up! I laughed so hard at that haha.
Out of music class early from taking a test, and I decided to book it up to Rob Co Y to shake it. I've missed it immensely. I don't get to do a butt load of cardio these days, and I don't particularly want to, as I don't enjoy a whole lot more than walking and dancing. I don't get time to walk recreationally any more since school has started, just any walking I do on campus. I finished, and had tri's, chest, and shoulders to bust out. So I did. I went up on almost every lift... on depletion. I got to talk and catch up with people, and joke, and just enjoy it. I've made friends with one or two people at the Donelson Y, but I enjoy the personal connections I have there. So that's the title. I hit Pr's and I think it was all about the fact that I had people I care about and I was going to bust it out well :) I even had a spot for military presses. Really? Love it.
As for school, I'm chest deep. Probably more like nose deep. Maybe totally covered. Test today, two more on Wednesday, paper due Friday, appointment with advising on Friday, some new power point project due who knows when, quiz monday, you name it, it's happening. I enjoy school, but I don't enjoy total life domination by school. I just don't let it. I'm going to enjoy my life, if I get a C in a class. So sorry. I'm good-ish, except for a Gov. test Wednesday. It's massive, and the information is mostly derived from readings, which isn't how I learn. So it's a no win situation I feel.
I have no song for you. I can't think. Yes.... It's that bad.
I always have people that put me in low spirits after any conversation with them, and being their friend takes great mounds of energy. Usually there's not a lot of these in my life at once, which I'm thankful for. I don't hate them, and obviously if it bothered me enough, I would end the friendship. Someone recently asked me why it is I would continue pursuing these people when my life would be easier without them, and I gain nothing from the friendship. Well... church gave me the words I couldn't find. First off, friendship doesn't need to be driven by a consumeristic attitude. Not to say it normally isn't, I think it usually is. We subconsciously let friendships fade if we are no longer benefitting from them, or we don't begin one with someone we see us gaining nothing from. I feel though, that friendship isn't completely about what you can get. It's a lot about what you can give too. I touched on this briefly in this post. While I personally can attest that a line needs to be drawn, or a reassessment needs to be made sometimes, we often let our egos get in the way of helping someone out, or being there for someone.
During this week's sermon, my pastor said something about people of that sort in his life. They're miserable to be around. He then popped out this little tart! "I continue to pursue those people because under that facade, is someone looking to be genuinely loved by God."
And there we have it folks! That's to a T why I do pursue them, and why they deserve to be pursued. Because hurting people hurt people! It's very rare that I meet someone who is honestly and genuinely mean spirited. Often times, they're rude, arrogant, or sarcastic, just to hide their true pain. While this is what first comes to mind when I meet someone with a characteristic as such, I've quickly learned it's not what comes to others' minds. Someone who doesn't carry a consumeristic attitude towards friendship is often looked upon as soft, easily used, or stupid. They appear to be walked on, taken advantage of, and an idiot for continuing a relationship in which they get treated badly.
I truly believe people have such good hearts. They just need genuine love sometimes.
I just wanted to show you, the sermon that spurred this, well, this is why I was so engaged.
Something since moving that has been hard for me, is my lack of one on one contact. Enough said.
As mentioned in my last post, Wednesday was a tough one. I come and go on how I feel about life and such, don't we all.. But things just piled higher and higher on Wednesday. Tests, grades, drunk people, people's attitudes, heat, hunger, tiredness, you name it.
When I'm having a rough time, or what not, the one thing that always, without a doubt, helps, is talking to someone. I don't know how everyone's minds work, but I do know, that it helps some people to hear someone else is struggling, so they feel better about their struggles. That's not what I'm talking about here. Maybe I should rephrase it as listening to someone? Either way, if I can just find someone to listen to, the fact that I'm genuinely interested in their life, and what's going on, and how they feel about it, helps me. I don't think I can explain why that is, but it is.
I don't like to talk about myself too much, I suppose it depends on the situation. There's few people I won't open up to, which might or might not be a good thing. If someone asks, I'll answer straight, but I would much rather hear them talk about them. I like to learn about people, and their opinions, life experiences, feelings, etc. Not to be confused with me not being able to talk a lot. Ask me about my weight loss, or a recipe, or about lifting, and you made a mistake. Good luck getting a word in. Only time I really want someone to ask, is if I'm romantically interested in them. Generally otherwise, I'd much rather just hear about them. Listening applies to both friends and otherwise though.
After my Wednesday crap, I reached out in my own way, to multiple people, but only one person got the memo. I reached out to ... 4 people. Got there eventually though. That's what matters. Anyways, what totally helped me? My friend JC came and ate pancakes. Yep... Having someone silently (I know, I know) sit working on their laptop is great to me. I try to tell people all the time that conversation isn't necessary, I just like the company. Knowing I'm not alone. I know, I just contradicted myself, but it works both ways. You'd be dumb to think I sat in total silence with someone for a long period of time. Yea, we talked, but it was a lot of him talking and me listening. Ok, so maybe that makes him sound rude. Not like that. As just mentioned, I enjoy it! He asked about school, class, what ever... But my mood is on a great up after hearing what's going on in his life, and how he feels about it.
Makes me wonder if I have any friends the same way. Also, what impact am I having on someone's life by simply having a conversation with them. Maybe the impact a friendly smile can have on a stranger walking by, who feels totally alone in the world. Thought provoking.
Yes, I said it. Porn. Wait though! We all do it.... mine is just as sinful, but it's SO addicting! It keeps me going through the week, when I'm down, or tired.... Pull it up! I'm actually going to show you what I feast my little eyes on. Just don't get addicted too. It's a sin, and I don't want to be an enabler.
Look at that. Control yourself.
These are orgasmic. Yes. I said it.
Ok, ok... I'll stop now. But you get the point. I need therapy.
I'm not NEARLY this creative. By anymeans. The best I've come up with recently, peanut butter and SF/FF Jello yogurt. Not interesting at all. Oh, there was a graham cracker in there too. But I forgot it, so I missed out on the full effect! My creativity, I believe I've mentioned before, comes from a deficit. While not nearly as creative as my friend's here, and his is in a surplus. Either way... I need some pointers on that!
On a more personal note. Crappy day yesterday, crappppppy night last night. Got 5 hours of sleep, and I was just dead from all this studying and such. Today is definitely not a day off. Supposed to be meeting someone for coffee.... looking forward to a little one on one time with a person. Rare I get that.
When I broke my nose, in 2004, I started to write. I'm not sure if it was out of boredom, to make a list of thank you notes, or just to be able to look back and remember what happened. No matter what the reason, I kept writing very diligently, and while I don't much anymore, I have a total of 5 journals. Not diaries. If someone wanted to read them, I would hand them over. It's an account of my life, spanning 7 years. If someone offered to show me their story written by them self, I would jump on the opportunity.
Last night, I felt like writing. I was going to go to church, and got lost (yes, in my own city), then when I found myself, it was too late to make it. So I drove back home, turned on some music, and had at it. When I went to get the book, I realized I had finished one, and started the next. Only one entry had been completed, so I decided to read it. I read it, and thought... Wow. I feel like it's something others could benefit from. The story is actually about someone, which doesn't take much background. So, here it is for you.
"Friday night, John's dad had a stroke.. Broke his shoulder. Johns hoping to go this Friday (to where his dad lives), his dad has surgery tomorrow to fix the shoulder. My heart cries for him. I can't imagine. Plus, to make things worse, he's such a worrier, this rips him up. Only son? Men are supposed to be strong for the women - how can he be expected to be? All of my recent struggles with him, I've been praying more than ever on how to handle the situation - my feelings. Today during the sermon, and through the words in a song, God told me "Love the ones even who can't love back. Be there no matter what." (roughly). So for me, especially right now, I offer my company, I drop any expectations - permanently - I realize living 2 miles from him won't mean seeing him more. I think about how you can't change anyone but yourself! He will always like recreational drinking, probably always hate religion, and that's not what is for me. I don't get mad at Kyle when he can't hang out with me, even though he always does - I'm sympathetic towards him. John deserves the same. It will always be hard for me. That gives me a perfect chance to fight temptation and piss off the enemy! Woot! =) I thought to myself "where is the line between faith and "enough"?" As in, when have I loved as much as I can and subjected myself to enough pain. However, doesn't that kind of say to God "How much love do I have to exert to make you happy?" Shouldn't I be willing to go through any amount of pain to try to exhibit you in the world, especially to an atheist?! People die for God All the time, and I won't even experience rejection? No - I don't stop putting myself out there. I also thought - and posted on FB Ha! - "I love community because it gives me relief from the pain of being me." Very true, but sad. ... All that occupies my mind is John's pain. He doesn't know how much people care. Indescribable. "Love like your heard could never break." I'm trying. I want to "Love with every breath I take." Jesus Help me please. I love you."
I'll let you leave with your own thoughts on that.
I was talking to someone about Bench Pressing a moment ago, and when I mentioned my personal record yesterday, they said "Wow on the bench!". Great thing to have people encourage you, and it pushes me to go harder, but it brought to mind something.
Strength is deceiving to the eyes, and a very relative term. When you're surrounded by fit people, and big muscles, it feels like the norm to you. Just like if you live in Mississippi, and work at a fair, seeing morbidly obese people is a norm for you. I had someone ask me a few days ago, if my goal was a six pack. More or less they asked to be reassured that it wasn't. While women in particular in that kind of condition isn't the norm, I feel like a 6 pack is. I feel like when you're fit, you have one. Today... I googled Jamie Eason, after seeing her mentioned somewhere, and while I had heard of her, I hadn't really looked at her to nit pick her figure. More to just admire her work. Today when I went to look, I thought ...you know what.... Not even Jamie Eason has muscular definition there.
Is it the norm? No. Is it even the norm of fit women? Nope. Is it possible for fit women? Yes. Anyways. I often forget we live in a world of unhealthy, sick people who need to be educated and need to find that desire. How could I forget that, right? Well.... I honestly don't see it. I see the people I work out around, or the people on fit websites, where I spend my time. Call me crazy.
So how is strength deceiving? Well, when someone sees a woman who has visible muscle, they automatically think that woman is strong. Why? Because she obviously has muscle. Not true. Yes, it definitely can be true. But it's not always. Yes, she has muscle... but if you took the next obese person that walked past you, and dropped their fat off.... you'd see their muscle too. Are they super strong? No. That's an expectation I feel I fail a lot, and one people unintentionally place on those with visible muscle. I can't do a pull up, bench my body weight, or curl half of my weight. Not even close to curling half my weight.
Now how's it relative? What defines strength? I don't have an answer to that. Sure, in my mind, If I see a 20yr old man squatting a bar, I'm not thinking he's strong. If I see him benching 100lb, probably still not thinking he's too ripped. If I see a woman hitting that same bench, who appears to weigh 115-130, I'm thinking she's doing really great. It's something in my mind, that I measure versus the person's personal size. A percentage of their weight maybe. I don't see myself that way though. I'm my toughest critic. I feel like I should be able to bench my body weight easily. Now, if you put that on a bar, it would drop to my chest, without a doubt. Yet, if I saw another woman doing it, I would be amazed. Perhaps this is a reminder to myself, but also when you look at someone... just remember that it's relative, and deceiving :)
"Week 1" psssh.. they're all the same in my book. Classes don't make me nervous, and I always try to set myself up for success when picking them. Hence my reason for dropping a dumb english class. Not going to risk a drop in GPA just to fit in the mold. Not to mention it would've sucked. Haven't gone to my new class yet, but I'm not expecting it to suck too bad. Only one day of it next week. I absolutely adore my Spanish, History, and Music classes. The teachers are so great, and they give you a change to try before it's cut off. My math teacher... he's a total jerk face. He pretty much treats everyone like they're an idiot. Not ok in a classroom setting. Not that it's ok anywhere, but especially in an environment engineered for learning.
I have homework in them all, which is great by me. Gives me something to do with my free time. I know.... I'm a sad kid. But it's not too often you run over in classes and are happy to. It's my place. I told my mom my first semester last year... I'd be a professional student it if was a profession! I love learning. The only time I don't, is when I'm in the hole, struggling. I like a challenge, but I don't like to have a constant fear of failure. There's a good balance there.
Today was a carb up.... Marathon eater... Right here! I thought to myself: "Wonder if anyone is watching all this craziness.." I got a foot long subway sammwhich, then I went and got 3 bagels.... then I got an iced latte. I had pretzels, poptarts, oatmeal, and beans other times too. But that stuff wasn't really as public-a-tized. Anyways, if I saw someone eating like that... I would think they just went through a bad break up or are depressed!
I have a college friend! Everyone says you meet your life long friends when you're in college. I haven't met anyone awesome in my classes yet, and there are no hot guys in any... sad day. But in July when I went to orientation, I met a girl who was also 17, and we started talking. When I went to find my classes a week prior to starting, I invited her to come find hers too. I'm a very invested friend, but I've never met anyone that is invested in friendship quite the same way as I. Except for my BFF on St. Croix. Well, my new friend is quite invested. Her name is Melissa by the way! She lives in the Boro, but not on campus. She's Christian, enjoys working out as well, calls all the time, and has an open schedule. So we're quite alike. What takes me back about her.... is that we haven't been friends for long, but she just calls all the time. It cracked me up the first time ...or 3... that she did it. I've never had someone call me so much, especially someone I'm not really close with. I love it though! She puts the effort into a friendship like I do! It's pretty great. I'll probably end up living down there at some point, and I'm excited to be able to hang out with her more when I'm closer. But she's coming to my house for the holiday on Monday to cook out, then we're hitting the gym. And we have a free membership at the school, so we like to go there too. Not that really any of this is important, but anyways :)
I have to learn all 193 countries in the next two weeks. Spelling included. Wish me luck! I feel like it's a good assignment though. It's for my government class, yes, not geography. Government. Anyways, we're talking about governments from different countries, and how can we go about that if we have no idea where they are? Exactly. Great thinking to that teacher!
Well... I have always liked school. So nothing to fear there, and I'm never nervous, I'm excited. I conquered all 5 ...yea, I have five MWF. A lot in a day, and a lot period, but people do more, so it's no biggie. All are going to be great--except English. It's going to probably lower my GPA. I would drop it for communication, but then I lose my honors status. UGH. Speaking of... I have a lot of reading to do for that class, and no book 0.o another UGH.
LOTS of walking. Wow..... Good breaks through out the day, take my protein with me, and the cafeteria has a salad bar (with unidentified dressings :/) and I can make sandwiches (with full fat mayo). So I'll take my own condiments, but I don't mind! There's worse things that have happened!
The days are long, and getting home late and tired and trying to workout is really hard, but it's only on Mondays that that happens.
Bulking is such a joy! I made cinnamon bread pudding, and it's amazing! No protein powder necessary! I'm really having to use some control not to eat the whole thing. It's ....orgasmic! ;)
It's amazing! And my appt smells delish! Someone referenced it to me, and I altered it of course, because that's what I do best. It's supposed to be Ezekiel Bread Pudding...But I changed it to Trader joe's bread pudding... with egg substitute and coconut oil! I used half of the prescribed "butter" (oil in my case) and it turned out fine. Actually... it's like dessert. And I'm in love! It's SO easy too!
Heard this on the radio before it was released, and I now own the album... I love this one though!
So I'm on the tail end of my carb up for the week, and I got my box of amazing goodies yesterday. It's weeks like this that remind me why I was going to do culinary. I love cooking.... SO much! Or what ever it is one would call what I do. I bring to you some creations that are tried, and loved. All proteinlicious, and all delicious!
Our first takes me back to when my mom used to cook for me. She used to make cream of wheat with sugar and butter, and it was probably my favorite breakfast! I had her make it probably twice a day when I had surgery last year.
Pumpkin Cream Of Wheat!
I personally, LOVE pumpkin. I've been known to go to extreme lengths to find canned pumpkin. Just can't beat it. If you want to try it... Here.
Second, I bring you something that combines everything blissful in life; Peanut butter, Chocolate, and Bananas. (Bread is rather yummy I must say!) A friend who is an "IF-er" tossed this at me, and even though I might've accidentally tripled the coco, it was delightful!
Recipe? (I don't know anyone brave enough to try it... but hey, you never know!)
1 cup 0% CC
1 scoop Chocolate protein (I used Optimum Nutrition Milk Chocolate)
2 cap fulls Davinci Toasted Marshmallow sugar free syrup (Any flavor that goes with choc is good).
2Tbs PB2 (You can use real PB too)
Mix. Enjoy!
Last, I have classics combined to make something delectable. While this isn't mine, I suppose I made it my own when I forgot a main ingredient!
Banana Rum Cake Baked Oatmeal!
I cut the recipein 1/2 for obvious reasons. And ....I forgot the banana :) Which I turned into a great milk shake!
If you try one, I need to know. It's vital to my survival! Food is ma thing homie ;) I have a song for you too! I'm loving this these days.
Two weeks ago, I hit the ultimate boredom wall. Summer is one of my least favorite seasons. Way too much time, and nothing to do. I moved, I went to Atlanta a lot, but those things don't last long. Therefore, two weeks ago, when someone suggested something called The Ultimate Diet 2.0, I was quite interested. It's actually a book, not just something someone told me about. So, I started reading. I started googling. I started thinking. After hours of searching, reading, learning, and deciding, I said... Why not? It's two weeks, not enough time to cause damage, and it's complicated enough that it gives me something to do. I spent hours writing pages of plans, and figuring out, as a vegetarian what I would be able to eat to get in what it says to.
At times, it was boring still, after I finished the planning, but I always had/have it on my mind. Always working on or looking at what is coming, what I've accomplished, or what others have. I initially didn't want to post about it, because it looks extreme. And well, maybe it's not just how it looks, maybe it IS, but I enjoy the challenge, and it's safe done correctly. I've absolutely killed it. I've had to pull out my old self control, creativity, and patience. All things I'd missed in myself.
My two weeks are coming to an end, and I said when I started, because of my lack of multitudes of fat to begin with, there would be no more fat loss after the two weeks. I'm totally fine with this. I no longer see a heavy person in the mirror. As a matter of fact, these two weeks have changed the way I see my reflection immesnsely. And I'm beyond greatful. I was tired of seeing a fat girl, when that's not what I was actually looking at. Tired of those fat days, and low self esteem moments. I didn't do a 180 however. I still see myself as I am, I don't think I'm the most gorgeous person out there, or the strongest, or skinniest, and I hope modesty is something I always posses. The minute I lose that, I've lost myself. But there's something to be said about confidence, and a lack of self loathing. Especially after you've had the opposite of those for a long time. I had a feeling this would only encourage what many would call my food or counting obsession, but it's been the total opposite. Because of the complexity, I plan the entire week the week before. Takes maybe an hour or so, and when the week comes, I don't have to think about anything. All I do is eat what I'm supposed to, and know that it fits because I already set it up. Such a relief.
You may (or may not) be wondering what this UD2.0 thing is. It's a program to lose fat, while gaining or maintaining LBM (lean body mass). It's hard, and not for the faint of heart. Its right up my alley. I spend 3.5 days eating at a large deficit, and lifting higher rep lower weight full body. Come thursday, I do mid range rep, higher weight. After that workout, through Friday, I carb load. Saturday, I drop to low rep, high weight. And Saturday and Sunday are just normal eating days. Then you start over.
I'm good at, and comfortable eating at large deficits. At first, I was concerned it might ignite my old fire of bad ways. But it opened my mind. It's showed me that under the right circumstances, the extremes I was putting myself through, can be ok. Few would agree, and I understand where they're coming from, because, months ago, I had a friend doing the same diet, and I told them they weren't being healthy, or they were hurting their body. Thank God they had patience with me though. They never told me what it was that they were doing, and I never asked. I figured it was something they came up with on their own. They're quite bright, and could explain it, so I figured they had done their research and put together a terrible plan. Months later, I run across it, and quickly realize it's what they were doing. After reading the material, I understand how it's ok. So when people doubt, I see no reason to attack. Quite the contrary, I understand exactly where they're coming from.
School starts on Monday, and I'm so ready. Some aspects about it suck, like walking in the intense heat as fast as possible so I make it to my class across the world in only 15 minutes. What were these people thinking?! Some plus' too though. The Rec center is amazing, and it will be used by yours truly. I get out at prime traffic time, so after school is a great time to hit the gym while I let traffic die down! They have a lounge-ish area that resembles a mall good court. Win! I have friends there already. Win! Uhm..... that's about all I can think of, other than enjoying having some homework, or something to keep me occupied.
I really have an appreciation for the lyrics in this song. Enjoy :)
I love thunderstorms. I feel like they put me in a vulnerable mood somehow. Weird, I know, but for some reason they make me start to think and what not. I woke up to intense storms... it's all gone now, sadly, but I was surprised my power didn't go out, or someone just appear after a loud crash of thunder, like in scary movies. Trust me, I looked around a few times.
My thoughts took me to think about how all these people I'm so close with, and love, won't be here, or we won't be as close in the coming years. I got a call from a friend yesterday telling me a guy from my home gym got shot. I wasn't super close to him, and I doubt he knew I exist, but I know he exists, and I know his name, what he looks like, who he knew there... and it kills me inside. This is the second guy this year I've had to see die. Both teenagers. It makes me think... that could be me. I could be driving, and next thing my parents and friends are getting calls I was killed in an accident. There's so many things I really want to do, and I want to be all "seize the moment" but everything takes money. If I were to get in a wreck today, I would (if I could) always wish I had gotten to do some of the things I never got to do. One of those moments, when you want to hug everyone that you're close to, and tell them genuinely what you think of them.
Back to "lost" friendships. I remember when I moved here how close I was with the people I grew up with, now, I barely ever talk to them. I know, years from now, all the people I care about, want to meet, love, cherish, they won't be in the same position in my life as they are now. Honestly, it makes me sad. I understand life moves forward and you can't mourn what you're losing, and you have to move and grow with it, and new experiences are great, and blah blah... but I'm not sure.. Something makes me want to be able to keep what I have. Somethings I would drop, somethings I would choose to advance, and some I wouldn't want to change. I think about even 3 months ago, where I was, and how I would give a lot to be there again, because even just in 3 months, I've gotten farther away than I would ever want to be from a lot of people. Not a pity party here, just thinking.
I heard a song in the car the other day I've now identified, and here it is for you.
Why do I barely ever look nice, cute, or hot? Because... it takes time. Not that I don't value myself enough to put it in, but I spend most of my time at the gym, and when I do go out, it's usually to go to the grocery store. I can't say I see the point in putting in an hour to get ready, when the outside world is going to see my for 10 minutes at the most.
There's a prime reason to be ready for school! When I'm in school, I look nice almost daily. (Until I start working out at between classes, and keep my gym clothes on, but my classes are back to back, so no chance to do that this semester!) For some reason, my hair evidently only looks nice when straight. Which... sucks, because it's definitely curly naturally, and I would much rather not have to blow dry and straighten. TIME! Means getting up 40 minutes early, when I have to leave at 6:45.... I don't want to get up early than I have to! I feel like out there, somewhere far, far, away... There's someone that will love me even if I wear gym clothes every day. Ok... probably not, but I sure wish there was.
Then there's heels. I love them. We all think they emphasize a woman's legs, and that they're sexy as all get out. Only thing is... they're really painful! I MIGHT be able to get by if my classes are close, or if I invest in a good pair... but the cute pair I currently have, and love the look of, happen to be blister inducing! I won't lie, I love my legs! I would love to show them off! I think there's a way using platforms... maybe.... Zuzanna Light pulls it off using platforms! I'll look into that!
Make Up. Oh make up! I'm very used to my face without you... and I'm cool with this. Little mascara, makes my eyes more noticeable, and that's all I want. Not only does make up add time to my getting ready (ok.. minimum, but everything adds up!) but I would rather someone think I'm hot, cute, whatever, being me. Yea, I know, it's just enhancing, but what's wrong with the color and blemishes I already have? They're not going anywhere! ...Probably the opinion of a child, but I think women can look beautiful with out anything to "enhance" them. I'll work on my want to enhance... give me time ;)
Earrings? Yes. They're great. I have no objections to them! But let's be honest, they take 20 seconds to put on, and they make a big difference! No time wasted, enhancement made, and I didn't drastically change my personal face.. just added to it. I guess that's what make up is supposed to do too.. SIGH!
I mentioned a while back that I wasn't into the gym I was currently going to.. and I can't remember if I ever updated, but I have 4 friends there now! One works there, so I'm not sure if he counts, but he talks up a storm! One said something to me, because I was sitting in between him and a friend, and they were having an opinion difference (in good fun) and naturally asked the random person between them. Sadly for the one that talks to me now... I wasn't on his side. Steelers Vs. Cowboys? GO STEEEELERS! The third, I talked to first, and I did so because he was tossing weights around like a mad person (drop sets), and it was entertaining to watch. He's there every time I am, which will soon change as I have to go in the afternoon... Tear. Last, is my good friend whom I met because I love what I do! You can read about him here. He talked to me again since them, well, actually, everytime we're there at the same time, we converse quite a lot. His guess yesterday.... "How old are you.. 21?" HA! The day prior, he let out his past, and his troubles of the day. He's a super sweet guy (probably late 30's). We clash on ways to work out, but we don't usually talk about them, just about life. Which he has a good bit of experience with, good and bad.
This song NEVER fails to put a massive smile on my face :) And this video... love it!
Sooooo I'm (again) ready for school to start! I'm finding constructive things to do with all of my summer boredom (except the summer reading, which I need to do. Or should I say listening. Audio book heaven!), and this week is flying by, so I'm sure I'll be in school in no time!
I'm spending my days at the gym, or on the greenway, or supporting people trying to achieve fitness goals online, and it's pretty fun! Unless, of course, you've done if for 2.5 months haha! I'm great friends though, with Justin, Neal, and Julie, our local news anchors, and Josh, Robin, and George, our Good Morning America anchors. Yes, that's right, first name basis by now! We're practically BFF's!
I'm excited to see who's in my classes, and the teachers, and the cafeteria, and where my classes are, and try out Einstein's Bagels! I've always wanted to eat there :D (yes..... I know.) The first day is so fun to me. Nerves aren't really my thing, especially since this is my third first day of college. It loses it's scariness pretty quickly. If only all those poor freshmen could be told it's just like high school, except without rules.
In my boredom, I've filled it with fitness and nutrition learning, and I'm loving it! Seeing as my major will have to do with that, I feel like I can only be helping myself.
I don't have a song for you today, but I'm sure you can think of something that would remind you of me!
