Rainy Days and Passing Times.

     I love thunderstorms. I feel like they put me in a vulnerable mood somehow. Weird, I know, but for some reason they make me start to think and what not. I woke up to intense storms... it's all gone now, sadly, but I was surprised my power didn't go out, or someone just appear after a loud crash of thunder, like in scary movies. Trust me, I looked around a few times.

     My thoughts took me to think about how all these people I'm so close with, and love, won't be here, or we won't be as close in the coming years. I got a call from a friend yesterday telling me a guy from my home gym got shot. I wasn't super close to him, and I doubt he knew I exist, but I know he exists, and I know his name, what he looks like, who he knew there... and it kills me inside. This is the second guy this year I've had to see die. Both teenagers. It makes me think... that could be me. I could be driving, and next thing my parents and friends are getting calls I was killed in an accident. There's so many things I really want to do, and I want to be all "seize the moment" but everything takes money. If I were to get in a wreck today, I would (if I could) always wish I had gotten to do some of the things I never got to do. One of those moments, when you want to hug everyone that you're close to, and tell them genuinely what you think of them.

     Back to "lost" friendships. I remember when I moved here how close I was with the people I grew up with, now, I barely ever talk to them. I know, years from now, all the people I care about, want to meet, love, cherish, they won't be in the same position in my life as they are now. Honestly, it makes me sad. I understand life moves forward and you can't mourn what you're losing, and you have to move and grow with it, and new experiences are great, and blah blah... but I'm not sure.. Something makes me want to be able to keep what I have. Somethings I would drop, somethings I would choose to advance, and some I wouldn't want to change. I think about even 3 months ago, where I was, and how I would give a lot to be there again, because even just in 3 months, I've gotten farther away than I would ever want to be from a lot of people. Not a pity party here, just thinking.

     I heard a song in the car the other day I've now identified, and here it is for you.

Don't let your thoughts run away too..