2015 Has been a long year, with both good and bad changes, and a lot of growth. The older I get, the harder it is for me to put it all out there. Perhaps because there is more at stake it feels.
In 2015 we moved to NC, we moved recently to a new place within NC as well. We tried 4 different dogs to have a second dog in the family. I started 2 new jobs, I started 4 new gyms, we owned 3 cars, and paid off another car. Daniel went to Special Forces selection, rebreaking his ankle, I regained control of my health and weight, watched and completed over 5 series on netflix, I also had my first needle to my mouth since I had my 2 front baby teeth pulled. I also did my first Crossfit competition. 2016... 2016 brings another move, this one closer to my family, it brings a new motorcycle into my possession, new friends, and more time to accomplish the things I constantly am aiming for. I had intended to start school very soon, but the Army reserves has proved to be one of the not so well ideas in my life, thus funding for that didn't occur.
In 2016 we plan to pay off another car, I plan to continue to push myself to make friends, though hard when you know you are soon leaving. I've worked very hard the last 4 months to reclaim control over myself when it comes to fitness and food, which felt very lost after being married. This past year I also struggled with how to let my spouse be financially free within reason and not be controlling in that area. I feel I have finally come to peace and a balanced place in that area but obviously there is always room for improvement.
I've started watching the walking dead to see what the hoopla was about. All I can tell... people like watching dark shows with hope. I can agree I like the hope, but not at the same level of brutality. I feel like I have enough darkness in my life, or walk around with enough of a cloud following me that I don't need to spend my free time watch humans have their guts eaten. Day after day there is something that happens, whether the dog runs away, or the Army says one thing and does another. I get my plans and my life ready to go in one direction and I find out moments later that we still aren't allowed to live normally and we still don't have control of our lives. We were about to sign the papers to own a home, and we found out we are moving. Those kinds of things are so very hard for me to accept. The fact that my life isn't my life. And Daniel reminds me more than once that life wouldn't be like this if we weren't married, but that's no way to live; it's for better or worse.
I'm excited to be in TN again, near both our families. I am not excited to move again, or to leave here. I have really come to love my job, friends and life here. One year is the longest I've lived in one state since I was 17. I know we will be at the next spot for a while as well.. and we have friends there.. but I do greatly value the ones I have made here, and the effort put in to make those. We will see how it goes.
