What I Share When I Have The Option

     Something since moving that has been hard for me, is my lack of one on one contact. Enough said.

     As mentioned in my last post, Wednesday was a tough one. I come and go on how I feel about life and such, don't we all.. But things just piled higher and higher on Wednesday. Tests, grades, drunk people, people's attitudes, heat, hunger, tiredness, you name it.
     When I'm having a rough time, or what not, the one thing that always, without a doubt, helps, is talking to someone. I don't know how everyone's minds work, but I do know, that it helps some people to hear someone else is struggling, so they feel better about their struggles. That's not what I'm talking about here. Maybe I should rephrase it as listening to someone? Either way, if I can just find someone to listen to, the fact that I'm genuinely interested in their life, and what's going on, and how they feel about it, helps me. I don't think I can explain why that is, but it is.
     I don't like to talk about myself too much, I suppose it depends on the situation. There's few people I won't open up to, which might or might not be a good thing. If someone asks, I'll answer straight, but I would much rather hear them talk about them. I like to learn about people, and their opinions, life experiences, feelings, etc. Not to be confused with me not being able to talk a lot. Ask me about my weight loss, or a recipe, or about lifting, and you made a mistake. Good luck getting a word in. Only time I really want someone to ask, is if I'm romantically interested in them. Generally otherwise, I'd much rather just hear about them. Listening applies to both friends and otherwise though.
     After my Wednesday crap, I reached out in my own way, to multiple people, but only one person got the memo. I reached out to ... 4 people. Got there eventually though. That's what matters. Anyways, what totally helped me? My friend JC came and ate pancakes. Yep... Having someone silently (I know, I know) sit working on their laptop is great to me. I try to tell people all the time that conversation isn't necessary, I just like the company. Knowing I'm not alone. I know, I just contradicted myself, but it works both ways. You'd be dumb to think I sat in total silence with someone for a long period of time. Yea, we talked, but it was a lot of him talking and me listening. Ok, so maybe that makes him sound rude. Not like that. As just mentioned, I enjoy it! He asked about school, class, what ever... But my mood is on a great up after hearing what's going on in his life, and how he feels about it.
     Makes me wonder if I have any friends the same way. Also, what impact am I having on someone's life by simply having a conversation with them. Maybe the impact a friendly smile can have on a stranger walking by, who feels totally alone in the world. Thought provoking.

     If I sang to you right now, I would sing....