School started back up on Friday. I'm doing back to back classes 8-1:30. Not even that many hours. 13.... but I can tell right now that between everything I'm doing, I'm headed for a wall. I feel like, the first couple weeks will be the hardest, but once I get a hang of how the teachers are and the homework load, I'll be better equipped to take on the rest of the semester.
I got my alcohol serving permit today, and unfortunately, I'm back to being a server. It's not that people are rude, they seldom are, but the job is very stressful to me. I'm exhausted from serving people for four hours, then I have to clean, roll silverware, etc. If I buss, host, or something of that sort, I work, and I leave. It's much more enjoyable. I had a man say he was going to get me a job at my gym, which... those things are always in the air. You never know if they'll come through for you. But if he does, you bet I'm out of that restaurant as fast as I can be. So.... I have full time school, full time work... which work is about to get much more stressful. They want me to serve the busiest nights. Logically, that's when they need me, but I'm a terrible PM server. I'm not a night person. I expressed this, and well, it wasn't taken into consideration. But hey, when I get talked to because I have a bad tip % or something of the sort.... I tried to tell them.
The gym. We know I would build a cot in the corner if I could. But I can't. I've actually cut 2 days out that I'm not going anymore. GASP! :-) I just go 4 days to lift. Which, right now, is going to be all I can fit in! I'm on a bulk, eating like a growing teenager (I guess technically I am!), and I'm now a member of "Team 3dmj" a coaching group. All online, my coach lives in Ca, and I'm hoping to do some competing. People think that it's inappropriate, or that it's gross, and I say to each his own. But.... this is my hobby. People invest a lot in a set of golf clubs, or a new saddle. I invest in coaching, and things of that sort. And I love it. I'm working on consolidating my eating and cooking time as it's taking an hour or two/day to do it all, but I now have the first opportunity ever, to smash my college cafeteria! I've always wanted to have a ravenous lunch there, and now I can!
The boyfriend. If I had one, in front of my face, all the time, I'd be a fail of a girlfriend. I simply have no time in my day to try to see someone. This is why it's just fine that I don't have friends, and I don't hang out with people. I have no time to! Everyone asks with a skeptical tone "how's the long distance thing?" Well.... it sucks beyond belief. I'm a huge complainer, and I'm stressed beyond my own understanding, but.... at the same time, it's great. Do I see him? Yep, every couple of days. Do I wish it were in person? Of course. Would I be able to be dedicated if he were here? No. And that's why it works.
So....... I have homework. I have a full time job. I have physique goals. I have a man to give time to. I don't have the time to do it all. I'm finding myself praying a lot these days that I can breathe for a moment, because I kid you not, I've cried, or taken out plenty of stress on someone everyday for about the past week. It's not who I am, and I don't like it. I can also add, that feeling fat, and full, and bloated all the time, really adds to the junky feeling. Life will go on. I will make it. But for now, I will just be stressed, and stretched, and hope that I find an OK balance in the near future.
No comments:
Post a Comment