Whoever is "The Man"?

     Relationships aren’t easy. It’s common knowledge that I haven’t been in any other than the one I’m currently in, and I’ve failed to maintain it once before. The first round, wasn’t really in person. It was a long distance thing, that was barely dating, but it was. Having never done the high school thing, or the college thing, where they’re like ....a warm up for the serious things, I’ve kind of just jumped into the relationship ocean, caused as many big waves as possible, and hoped I don’t drown. Currently, I’m holding onto the large piece of wood.... think Titanic here. Moving is a majorly high stress thing by itself. Now let’s add a 4 day drive with your boyfriend. Oh, and let’s add new born relationship to it too. We both had previously acknowledged that this would be a big change for us both, but didn’t know what to expect until we were swimming towards the large piece of wood. Moving has put me into not only an emotional state, but an emotionally vulnerable one, and a slight depression. The first time I moved, a large depression occurred - even though I had plenty of family with me. I’m happy I’ve been able to adjust so well, but the heightened emotions has made the relationship a massive struggle. For 2.5 weeks, I couldn’t recognize where he made effort, the effects this had on him, sacrifices he had to make, or what he really meant when he said something overly direct. Once I’ve realized what’s happening, I can now see and acknowledge these things. Changing from an internet to a face-to-face relationship, is hard. You have to learn their facial expressions, different tones, body language, energy levels, etc. I’m slowly catching these things, and he’s catching on to mine, but the amount of sacrifice and effort is phenomenal. We both admitted today that we must want this an awful lot, because we’re working excruciatingly hard to get it right. Plenty of times have I had to wait to reply to something because if I did right then, it would be an “I’m Through!!!!” haha.

     How did it start? Some are shameful of the fact that they met online, but our story is a little fun! We were both losing weight, or tracking calories on a website. His picture was a shirtless one, which grabbed my attention, and he was awfully rude towards the people on the forums, which I thought was kind of ballsy, and he knew his info. I would follow him and read his posts, and learn. I added him, we exchanged random messages, nothing I didn’t do with multiple other people there. I remember clearly that heart jump when I received an e-mail that he had sent me a message or commented on something. The thought was “The hottest dude on my list is talking to me... OMG!” I once posted a quote “You got so much definition you’re like a dictionary” or something along those lines. Not long after, he posts his first back shot, saying “An ode to you, the dictionary”.

     One day a couple months after the add, I get a message about my heart rate monitor. Brand? Cost? Reliability? That strand of messages went on a very long time. March 29, 2011, I went to a Preds game, and told him I would show him but I had no way to. All just a plan to get his number. It worked. I later found out that he could’ve cared less about the HRM, just wanted to talk to me. Sneaky nonetheless! Plus, he ended up buying one.... so not a total loss!

We texted for 8 months, then I flew out. At first, I was very taken back by him. He came across as conceited, and just ....weird. I didn’t understand his humor at all, but it made me want to figure it out. We’ve been through multiple life occurrences together. Before we ever dated, I had decided I was taken. He picked me up at the airport, we got vietnamese, and now we’re here. Communication is so important. And patience.

     I didn't move here just to be with him, in fact I remember telling my mom I didn't want to live near him because I was worried he would try to date me. The irony now! I'm glad I'm here though, he does a lot of good for me, and teaches me so many things on how to make sure those around you are happy, and to think about more than yourself, the consequences of your actions, conflict resolution, what it's like to not judge, or be judged. He gives me hugs when I'm ready to cry, he looks me in the eye and tells me it'll be ok, and it works wonders every time. I'm so glad I never lived the dating scene when I was in high school, and had plenty of time to consider what I like before I met someone. I see people lie about their interests, their pasts, and what they see in the future to impress or catch someone. Sure, things could've been faked on the internet, but they weren't. We have pet peeves about each other, or issues, what ever you choose to label them. I magically speak quieter when I'm around him, and he has an uncanny ability to take my words and turn them around. Ok, he's a lawyer, I guess that's foreseeable,  but that doesn't make it easier to handle. I observe people who are in relationships when I'm in public, the elderly and the teenage, and we're just like everyone else! However, every relationship has a history, and no one has ours, it's unique to us. No one has the man I have, and gets to experience him the way I do, and that.... is what makes it much more wonderful to experience.