Happily Taken!

So, I have more of a personal note that the book has shown me, that I feel wasn't too relevant to my previous post, so it got a post of its own ;-p

It's about being single. So, I know the Bible talks about marriage, and I'm always overwhelmed with warm fuzzies when I see an elderly couple eating lunch or walking together, but I'm not too sure about it. Crazy Love has brought to my attention God's love for us (obviously). I've been single my whole life, and It doesn't bother me.. Which a lot of people can't say, and I understand why, and I also get that I don't know what I'm missing, because I haven't had it.. I almost feel though, that God's love is enough. I know that sentence sounds bad.. I "almost" feel like He's sufficient? No.. that's not what I'm saying at all actually. The reason I put it like that is because, while I am sure God's love is all I need, it doesn't mean that here can't be some kind of feeling that there's a void in my life. God's love if more than enough, but he has put a system in place so we don't have to walk alone on our time here on Earth, that we can have another son (or daughter) of Himself to keep us straight and be a companion as we conquer the battle field. If it's not clear yet, what I intend when I say "almost enough," is that I don't feel the need for that whole Earthly companionship thing. Maybe, subconsciously I do feel it, but somewhere there could be a disconnect. I'm totally satisfied alone.. Simple and Plain. I have a spouse already, and He's my dream man. I'm 100% sure I could never find someone to measure up to him.
It's not just my feeling of already taken though.. It's myself in general. Call it what you want, low self esteem, self conscious, girl temperament.. I don't feel worthy of having a companion most of the time. It's not that physically I feel ugly, it's more that I'm moody, and I have a lot of bad days and such, and I don't feel like it's fair for someone to have to put up with that. I don't feel like that world is my forte.
Watch me, 20 years from now, married with a kid being like "what was I thinking?!" and.. I'm sure I'm messing with a chance for something I subconsciously want.. but it's one of the many things this book is bringing to my attention. God's love is adequate and no person can love me enough to fill His void.